Wives of Reserve Soldiers Say Their Family Is Collapsing Under Duty’s Toll

June 27, 2024

by: Hadar Gil-Ad and Nina Fox ~ Ynetnews

Thursday, 27 June 2024 | Since the October 7 massacre, Dalit Nalkan’s husband has been called up for three rounds of Israel Defense Forces [IDF] reserve duty. “He was supposed to finish his last round on June 26, but they informed him it would be extended by a month,” Dalit says.

“We’re collapsing. There are days when I can’t pull myself off the couch. You’re in this hell for four months, so thankful that it’s over and then you enter it again. And people don’t understand that each time, our lives are put on hold,” she added.

Dalit described her difficulties. “I can’t work when my husband is in a war zone. I can’t get up, I can’t breathe.”

The economic burden borne by reservist families is increasing alongside the mental toll. “I left my job and became self-employed a year ago,” she said.

“My husband is also self-employed. He does maintenance work on high-rise buildings. Out of seven buildings he regularly worked for, he’s now left with three. We’re in severe debt right now. I keep asking myself what will happen next.”

‘Our Entire Household Is Under Mental Strain’

“We no longer have any resilience, our entire household is under mental strain,” Dalit said. “We have two kids. One in first grade and the other began attending kindergarten this year. They have no routine; they constantly miss their dad. My son goes to school with his dad’s dog tag and combat pin. My daughter just wants to stay home all day.”

The enormous difficulty for reservist families finds them coping with battles both on and off the battlefield.

Hagar Chen-Tzion, a mother of two, left her job due to the ongoing war and her husband’s reserve duty. “My children were shaken when their father disappeared on October 7 and although they’re very young and don’t understand what fighting means, they feel the worry in the air. So, I felt the need to be more present at home, both physically and emotionally.”

Hagar’s husband finished his second round in Gaza two days ago. “He has completed over 200 days of reserve duty and that has a lot of implications for our home,” Hagar described. “But it must be said that there is also an impact on the women here. In other words, women have literally returned to the kitchen now. They’re paying the price. I’m currently not eligible for unemployment because I resigned, but what worries me now are the long-term implications. I don’t know what the consequences of this period will be on my future roles.”

“It’s 2024. We have careers and our husbands are active partners in what goes on in our households,” said Adi Langer-Shabat, whose husband has been on reserve duty since the war began. “It’s like living in crisis mode, in uncertainty and constant worry. I’m always trying to manage everything and get it all done—to hold a career, take care of the house, the family, the children—and all on my own.”

Adi’s husband is expected to serve over 300 days of reserve duty this year. “He served since October 7, five continuous months,” she shared. “They were supposed to have another round in July, but they received a call with just a few day’s notice to head to Gaza and then to the north. It’s madness. These aren’t career soldiers. They have young children. They have a family. They have a job.”

‘Now Is The Time To Expand The Circle Of Those Serving’

Brigadier General (res.) Dr. Ariel Heiman, the IDF’s first Chief Reserve Officer, noted that reservists now are eager to serve, but warned this won’t continue indefinitely. “The burden is becoming increasingly heavy; reservists have families, studies, jobs and their capabilities have limits,” Heiman said.

According to Heiman, one solution to increase the reserve force lies in maximizing the country’s recruitment potential. “We need to better utilize those who served in the reserves in the past and were discharged,” he said. “Many reserve units were shut down and people were discharged at an older age. Some were released from mandatory service and don’t perform their roles in the reserves. We need to train them.”

Heiman added, “The military must understand that it can’t continue to overburden the few who serve, work, pay taxes and also serve 180 days a year in the reserves. The military doesn’t understand the damage it’s causing because reservists are being worn out.”

Brigadier General (res.) Shuki Ben-Anat, who also served as Chief Reserve Officer, said, “If the situation escalates on the northern front, everything that happened from October 7 until now will be a prologue to what will happen there. The IDF can’t sustain a campaign in the north because it doesn’t have enough divisions and equipment. The burden will fall on reserve forces.”

Posted on June 27, 2024

Source: (Excerpt of an article originally published by Ynetnews on June 26, 2024. Time-related language has been modified to reflect our republication today. See original article at this link.)

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